Friday, 04 June 2004

…and they lived happily forever after… seperate.

heh~ i can’t believe i said it so calmly. and i can’t believe he didnt make any protest. well~ that’s a good sign right? that i cant finally “die heart” la… he wasnt the right choice from the start, i tried my best to make it feel right, but it just isnt… funny, don’t even feel anything. wierd sensation. but these fuckin tears welling up, what the hell do they mean?! but can’t feel anything anymore.

i’ve tried my best, i’ve done all i could… the result wasn’t what i expected, but what can i say? grow up~ not everything is hunky-dory. so what if people let you down? everyone does it all the time. SO WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH ME!!! calm, -da-… reality would prolly hit me suddenly like heart attack. woohoo~ so lets just sit here quietly copying ur notes till it does ok?! hahaha~ dang i hate waiting… where is my heart attack?! maybe something less dramatic would suffice. like floating off a biulding… or a slice thru some nerve… damn it!! why are these thoughts polluting my mind again?! get them fuckin outta here… they’re clouding away everything else… and they feel nice.

ok, gotta end with this messed up entry.

it was a mess from the start… did i expect it to get better?? i should have treated it like the game it was… dummy -da-. always playing with games you know you’ll lose; and the stakes were high weren’t they? well~ too bad.

been there, done that.

move on.

grow up.



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