Sunday, 24 October 2004 my new site. you may check it out if you want…

decreased food intake, and increased exercise. but at this rate, i’ll never each my goal Actually… i never can reach my goal… Perfection

Actually, there’s so many upsetting things lately. Things like my studies, relationships, family, or basically myself in general. Why can’t i be content with what i have? Truthfully, I don’t know. I have a daddi, mommi and sis that loves me. i suppose. A hunni bunni that does his best to keep me happy. i think. I suppose you see the problem now, eh? The person that doesn’t love me is myself.

About to face a failure in my studies, I suddenly want to do something that i really enjoy. Something that isn’t just another event in the course of life. Something that I can say is my achievement and show it proudly. Something that is my own. Any suggestions? Why is it there are some people, who also have 24hrs a day, but seem to be so filled with achievements? Is it because I’m dumber? Being so imperfect, so flawed is painful. Accepting it in painfully  inevitable. Isn’t it amazing God can still love us? Even I, a plain worthless human, cannot accept imperfection; yet God, flawless, can love us?

Don’t get headaches because of one wierd girl’s babblings. I am actually very grateful with what I have. I have really great friends that love me, and let me love them and care about them. ŽXŽX…my beloved. I have a great Hunni Bunni that boings all the way to me just to see me smile. I have a daddi and mommi who loves me and does their best to provide for me. And a sister who huggles me when i come home. I have a roof over my head and clothes to wear and a bed to sleep. Why should I be what the world wants me to be? If people are near me for my looks, status or achievements, do I really want them near me? So I leave the rest in God’s hands. But this is a materialistic world we live in…….



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