Instead of choosing the least of the worst, life’s decisions should be made the way we choose ice cream, from all the delectable exciting flavors and delights. Life should be full of colors and combinations, filled with things that make our hearts tickle and skip a beat.

Are we trying too hard to settle, too afraid of the immensity we can be. Or is this just a yuppie mentality, a self-absorbance that we misguide ourselves with, an excuse for a lack of perseverance?

I can’t see myself staying, but I’m too strong to just runaway. I’ve never noticed, but the random ideas of being hit by a car does seem to pop up more when I have a work shift coming up. Being constantly put down, being told I’m unworthy day-in day-out is killing me from the inside. I know I can improve, I know experience and knowledge takes time and effort to build, but instead of trying so hard to prove myself to these people, maybe it’s better to just accept, this is not the place to be, not the place for me. It’s not the worst, it’s just not the best I can be.

There’s such a yearning to leave this all behind, to reach out for something better, but there’s also the voice of “reason” telling me to stay and try once more…


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