Another night shift. Another post-night breakfast of Starbucks Caramel Ribbon Crunch frappucino and a Croque Monsieur.
Thinking back, my favourite Broadmead post-shift indulgence was a cuppa Apple Cider or Hot Chocolate at Starbucks. Something about aimlessly sitting after a physically and mentally exhausting day made the whole day seem worth it, somehow.
But recently, stress from work just piles on. Not only the physical exertion of walking back and forth as my patients got spread out across the whole span of the ward (two far FAR ends) while they were polishing the floors and getting nauseous from all the chemical fumes, but being scolded for “wasting time” walking back and forth. As if I wanted to! Then being scolded for dispatching the wrong “type” of transport for patient transport to get an ultrasound, by the very person who should have been doing the booking instead of playing candy crush. Does it really matter, as long as the patient gets the treatment needed? But i guess it’s all to be expected, essential, because i’m the newcomer of the team, because its the only way they know to exert their superiority, because the whole focus of nursing is unfathomable to these burnt out staff, because non-stop hectic work day is an excuse for low EQ, because speed trumps patient care. It’s not about being scolded, not even when I didn’t make no mistake, but all the personal attacks “you’ll never make it”, “you never learn”, “how can you be so stupid”, etc. And this is the crap that makes a day so much more exhausting than any running back and forth.
But it’s not all bad. As I was handing off to P shift colleague, a very knowledgeable experienced staff, he said he actually felt I had “improved”, that I “knew what I was doing”, and that “it’s okay to not finish everything, as long as I kept track of what was unfinished”. And not only the verbal encouragements, he showed me his method of writing a “cheat sheet”, the points he jotted down, and what to note for. At least the shift ended on a lighter tone. Then, bumping into fellow students for general chatting and sharing difficulties, or just chilling and laughing at peculiarities of various aspects of work with some soon-to-be RN graduates. Nursing is teamwork. So maybe the team isn’t the most suitable for you, but that definitely ain’t stopping me. How do others deal with it?